Hear Robert describe how he came to an important revelation about treatment, and how he tackled the obstacles of transitioning back into society and dealing with nightmares and flashbacks to become the respected member of his community he is today.
View Video TranscriptRobert:
I needed help. I stayed in the program for six weeks. Then after that, I got reassigned. I had to go to weekly and monthly urinalysis tests and meetings, and we go into the meetings and there were bird-colonels, chief master sergeants with alcohol, all types of problems. That’s when I realized just because you’re a soldier doesn’t mean other people don’t have problems, and for an hour or an hour-and-a-half that’s what we talked about, how we needed to deal with our problems. And so when you talking to other soldiers and they’ve had similar types of problems, it’s like an eye-opening experience. People start telling their stories and I realized that soldiers can be weak too, there’s no shame in admitting that you don’t have 100% strength or that there’s some failure so to speak. There’s nothing that I should hide about that, and it was not until I went into the therapy program, in the military, special treatment program, until I started talking with the professional military counselors and realized they were trying to make us understand that it’s okay to talk about that. In fact, the more you talk about it, the more honest you are with yourself in terms of being healed or on your way to recovery. And once I heard that, I thought it was a revelation and then I enjoyed hearing the other soldiers admit some of their problems. It became like I looked forward to going and hearing some of these stories. At that point in time, it made me realize how many more soldiers needed to talk to somebody. I realized that sometimes you could be more wounded in your head than your body.
I had problems early on from the nightmares because I kept seeing the bodies, whether they were wounded bodies, injured bodies and I could hear some of the soldiers asking to be killed and it haunted me; it haunted me at night; it haunted me through college. I tried to go to the VA early on, but there was no such thing as PTSD. I went through school so fast, and I ended up getting married after three-and-a-half years and I didn’t even tell my first wife, I kept going to school. And later on, it affected our marriage, because she would talk about how I would talk at night in my sleep and fight and talk about saving people or walk into the wall and I got very aggressive towards her sometimes as well as to other people, which to me it was like they were being too slow about doing things. Or I was taking situations in real life and almost acting like they were military life and people weren’t as compassionate or didn’t care as much. It was kind of scary for a while for me.
One thing they said to me in therapy I never forgot, they said, “Never forget that some things never go away,” and I said, “Well, what did you mean?” He said, “Your life will never be a normal life in a sense of thinking because you’ve had these experiences,” and so I never tried to act like it was gone. The one or two times I did, it was more or less I was immersed in academics or my young family or whatever the case was, but it would come out at different times. To this day, I know what some triggers are. I can’t watch a full movie of any type of war, because it reminds me of the instances of me treating victims. Well, that’s been over 25 years now. I’ve never tried to sit through, my wife, my second wife knows right now. If she’s watching one, she likes those types of pictures, she’ll turn it; she’ll look over and see me. My first wife had no idea. I would sit there like a zombie.
To me, today, every Veteran regardless of the era that they served in, Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan, every Veteran needs to be able to make a connection with their families to let them understand that they’re okay or that they are linked to the resources that will give them help.
When I got out, many of the Vietnam Veterans were not greeted cheerfully. I’ve had more people say, “Thank you for service,” in the last three or four years than 15 or 20 years. Now, it’s more resources available. There is no excuse to traumatize your family, to go through this trauma yourself, regardless of what you’ve seen, what you’ve been a part of, and even what you don’t understand. Most of us, as Veterans, followed orders. Some of us followed orders to the point of seeing other people, loved ones die, friends die or wounded, but we still followed our orders. I think the best thing we can do now, even as I sit here, is make the connection with the resources available. It was one of the best things I did. With those limited resources that were at the university, through the Veterans program for those who are going to school, for those resources that were available with the VA at the time, which was sparse but still I made the connection, or with those services through my church and others who understood that Veterans need tender loving care, or with other family members who just knew from other family members they had that Veterans need care. You’ve got to make a connection if you want to be a part of the community again. And remember, following orders continues all of your life. The key is follow the right orders. I’m more respected now in my community because of my testimony as a Veteran, because I’ve shared it with so many other people and because I know now, if I do nothing else, I help other people make a connection. There’s nothing weak about saying, “I need some help.” There’s help available just for you.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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If you are feeling on edge, breathe deeply. Try grounding yourself by focusing on your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, like the feeling of your feet on the floor. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you find treatment that is right for you, so turn to them whenever you are ready. Learn more steps you can take on our Feeling on Edge page.
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Video Title: Dealing with feelings of hopelessness in therapy
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If you are a Veteran or know a Veteran who is feeling hopeless or having thoughts of suicide, talk to someone right away. Consider sharing what you're feeling and thinking with your family, friends, or health care provider. In addition, you can call the Veterans Crisis Line: Dial 988 and then Press 1, chat online at VeteransCrisisLine.net, or send a text to 838255. The Veterans Crisis Line offers free, confidential support, 24/7. Learn more steps you can take on our Feelings of Hopelessness page.
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Guilt
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Video Title: Finding Your Purpose
Video Title: Compassion and Forgiveness
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If I'm experiencing guilt, what can I do about it right away?
If you find yourself living with guilt or remorse about a past action or inaction, try to set aside time to think about your feelings. Remember that everyone has things they would have done differently—but no one can change the past or predict the future. Sometimes the experience is worse if you keep your feelings to yourself. Telling someone, like a family member or friend, about your regrets or guilty feelings can be a good first step to overcoming them. Learn more steps you can take on our Guilt page.
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Loss of Interest or Pleasure
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Video Title: “I wasn't ready.” Army Veteran Discusses PTSD and Being Open to Healing
Video Title: Her father saw the signs and recommended help
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If I'm experiencing loss of interest or pleasure, what can I do about it right away?
If you are experiencing loss of interest or pleasure, try to plan a pleasurable activity daily, even if it's something small. Physical activity can improve your mood and help you sleep better. Talking to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're feeling can also be helpful. They may be able to provide support and help you discover what is causing you to lose interest in things you once enjoyed. Learn more steps you can take on our Loss of Interest or Pleasure page.
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Social Withdrawal & Isolation
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Video Title: Connecting with others to find a fulfilling life
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Video Title: Getting back on track in civilian life
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If I’m withdrawing from others or isolating myself, what can I do about it right away?
Allowing social withdrawal or social isolation to continue unchecked will only make your situation more challenging. Consider reaching out to your family members, friends, or health care provider, even though it may be the last thing you feel like doing. Connect with Veterans' groups or participate in clubs or hobbies focused on something you like. Research shows that spending time talking with others improves your mood and has a positive effect on health. Learn more steps you can take on our Social Withdrawal and Isolation page.
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Video Title: Navigating Life's Transitions
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If you're experiencing stress and anxiety, try practicing relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, to help you cope when things upset you or don't go according to plan. In addition, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Stress and Anxiety page.
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Video Title: Veteran on Maintaining Sobriety: “I get better by helping others.”
Video Title: Curtis’ wife was the reason he reached out
Video Title: Coming home was tougher than Jamie expected
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Many Veterans have overcome relationship problems that arose after time away from family or after stressful situations. Try making a "communication plan" to express your thoughts and feelings with loved ones by considering what to say and how. Writing down these thoughts can help your family and friends better understand your circumstances and assist you in finding support. Learn more steps you can take on our Relationship Problems page.
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If you are experiencing chronic pain, there are a few things you can do to improve your well-being: (1) Tell your doctor about it. They can help develop a treatment plan. (2) Find ways to stay physically active, according to your doctor's recommendations. (3) Keep a "pain diary," where you can record your progress with pain and how it affects your life. Learn more steps you can take on our Chronic Pain page.
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Eating Problems
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Video Title: Setting Up for Success
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If I'm experiencing eating problems, what can I do about it right away?
If you are experiencing eating problems, find healthy ways to manage stress, such as taking a walk, going for a run, practicing relaxation exercises like deep breathing or meditation, or doing something nice for yourself like watching a movie or reading. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Eating Problems page.
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Headaches
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Video Title: A Veteran’s Journey From Homelessness to Hope
Video Title: Treatment for TBI improved David's life
Video Title: A Veteran reaches out for help with TBI symptoms
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If I'm experiencing headaches, what can I do about it right away?
If you are experiencing headaches, try to rest with your eyes closed and head supported. Getting enough sleep, eating regularly without skipping meals, staying hydrated, and maintaining good posture are simple lifestyle changes that can help you avoid or reduce headaches. Talk to your doctor if you experience frequent or recurring headaches, which can be a sign of a medical issue. Learn more steps you can take on our Headaches page.
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Trouble Sleeping
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Video Title: Vietnam Veterans’ Voices on Managing PTSD
Video Title: Admitting she needed support was the first step
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If I’m having trouble sleeping, what can I do about it right away?
There are several ways to improve your sleep right away: (1) Make your bedroom a place just for sleeping—not for activities like watching TV, reading, working, or listening to the radio. (2) Avoid light exposure from screens at night, which can throw off your sleep cycle. (3) Avoid alcohol and large meals near bedtime. (4) Maintain a regular sleep schedule. In addition, talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Trouble Sleeping page.
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Cognitive Symptoms
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Confusion
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Video Title: Sometimes it's more than a physical injury
Video Title: Steps to overcome panic attacks
Video Title: Everything seems like a potential threat
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If I'm experiencing confusion, what can I do about it right away?
If you are experiencing confusion, try to slow down and focus on the task at hand. Take regular breaks to avoid feeling tired and overwhelmed. Avoid drinking alcohol, which can make confusion worse. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a medical condition such as TBI might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Confusion page.
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Difficulty Concentrating
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If I'm experiencing difficulty concentrating, what can I do about it right away?
If you are experiencing difficulty concentrating, avoid distractions like loud music or the television. Develop a routine and try to stick to a regular schedule. Additionally, take regular breaks to prevent feeling tired. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a condition such as TBI, ADHD, or anxiety might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Difficulty Concentrating page.
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Dizziness
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Video Title: I don't know what would've happened without VA
Video Title: Coping with TBI to improve quality of life
Video Title: Army Veteran learns to manage TBI symptoms
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If I'm experiencing dizziness, what can I do about it right away?
If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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Flashbacks
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Video Title: Triggers | Signs of a Mental Health Challenge
Video Title: Ending the grip of nightmares and flashbacks
Video Title: A science class causes a flashback for Tim
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If I’m experiencing a flashback, what can I do about it right away?
A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Noise or Light Irritation
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Video Title: I believe we're all in this together
Video Title: Counseling for PTSD leads to a work-study program
Video Title: Army Veteran Encourages Others To “Be Vulnerable” in Order To Heal
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If I'm experiencing noise or light irritation, what can I do about it right away?
Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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Video Title: Recovering from flashbacks and nightmares
Video Title: Nightmares | Signs of a Mental Health Challenge
Video Title: The first thing I noticed was nightmares
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If I’m having nightmares, what can I do about it right away?
To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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High-Risk Activities
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Alcohol or Drug Misuse
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Video Title: After Challenges With Gambling and Substance Use, Veteran Finds Tools To Recover
Video Title: Anything's Possible
Video Title: “We’re stronger together.” Army Veteran Urges Women Veterans To Get Support
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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Video Title: After Challenges With Gambling and Substance Use, Veteran Finds Tools To Recover
Video Title: Brenda found the support she needed to live well
Video Title: Gambling for the adrenaline rush
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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Video Title: “Each day was a new opportunity.” Veteran Reflects on Sobriety Journey
Video Title: I was carrying a heavy load
Video Title: Veteran strength to reach recovery
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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