While deployed, Josh survived an IED blast to the vehicle he was driving. In another blast, he saw shrapnel penetrate his buddy’s helmet. He returned home and felt on edge, drank heavily, and couldn’t sleep. Family and fellow Veterans helped him find healthy ways to cope with his challenges and smooth the transition to civilian life.
View Video TranscriptJosh:
My name is Josh, and I served on active duty in the Air Force from July 2003 to July 2010. So, for about seven years. I was a Security Forces member. A volunteer assignment came up through the Air Force to go deploy for a year in support with the Army. It was called an ILO or in lieu of assignment. So, I volunteered and almost everybody saw direct combat at some point. The Humvee I was driving took an IED hit on my door. All I remember is it went off. It felt like my ears were ringing and then there was a big moment of silence. And then all of a sudden, my truck commander is yelling at me, screaming at me to keep driving.
One of the guys I was stationed with at Minot he was riding in the turret and he was giving his gunner a break because he was a truck commander and an IED went off maybe 30 feet away, but somehow a piece of shrapnel just got between his goggles and his helmet perfectly and it penetrated into his brain. It was just really hard at the time because personally, I had known him because we had been stationed together at the same base. And we had known each other before the deployments. Knowing that was just a bomb away was really tough.
The normal things that people experience in post-deployment have been pointed out and I think although I was young, I think I was smart enough at the time to know that they’re probably true. Instead of me trying to take, I think the biggest step was instead of me having that hard-ass attitude about you know what, it’s true for everybody else. It’s not true for me. The not ability to sleep well for a long period of time, probably the drinking, and then the attitude for survival in Iraq is different than when you come back home, and you have to reintegrate with civilian life. That to me was the hardest part.
I had my dad drive with me the first few days I was back in the states here in Boston, but I would just blow through like red lights because I wasn’t even looking for them and paying attention. My dad would be screaming, “Red light! Red light! Red light!” And I’d be like, zoom! My mother’s a nurse and she knows a lot of people who do this kind of thing. So, she also kind of checked in on me when I got back here to Boston. And she recommended some of her friends to talk to.
Then I had a couple of other friends who had deployed and they kind of were the best resource initially when I got on leave to just sit down with. So, after talking and seeing people who specialize in that, so the alcohol has definitely gone down. I’m more of a social drinker now. But the hypervigilance, that has stayed around for a little while because I find certain things, I will still pay attention to no matter what. So, I can be in crowds, but I know that when there’s a lot of people around I pay way more attention to who’s there.
I think that I sit here today in due part because it was offered to me. And even though I didn’t take it at first, I definitely listened. And then the pieces that I needed I took later on. You actually have to actively go take what they’re offering to you at the time that you come back. Because when you’re upset and you’re mad from a deployment or you’re frustrated, then in a few months once you’ve internalized it and thought about it, then if you need help at that point you take what you need or you go get advice.
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Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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