While Adam was serving in Iraq, his truck was hit with an IED. As a result, he developed back problems, and his unit later deployed without him. After the Army, he drank heavily. When fireworks caused flashbacks, his wife urged him to seek treatment. Through VA resources, he was diagnosed with PTSD and found ways to cope with his triggers.
View Video TranscriptAdam:
My name's Adam. I was in 864th Engineers out of Ft. Lewis, Washington. I was in Iraq from March 6, 2003 to February 21st, 2004. It was hard. Being the first ones over there, opening up the berms for the war start. Obviously, we were getting hit left and right. Pretty much every convoy, something happened. The main incident that happened to me over there that really sticks out was my truck got hit with an IED going from Balad to Samarra. We were driving, there was seven of us in the Humvee, and all of us had a feeling something was going on, because there was Iraqi police directing traffic to the left, and they waved us on to go straight, and it was dead silent, and I mean everyone just had an eerie feeling, and then all of a sudden, the IED hit and pushed the whole Humvee over to the left side of the road. I mean, we shot over two lanes, windshield smashed, all of us just covered in dirt, sand, gravel, you name it, it was on us.
When we left Iraq, we got back to the States, and I actually had to check myself into mental health, because my unit didn’t want to help me, because I was constantly angry, falling asleep at one in the morning, waking up at two, wanting throw my T.V. out the window for no reason. Once we got back from block leave they just started to get all the equipment ready again, because we knew we were coming down on orders for Afghan, but my back was severely jacked up from the IED. They gave me the option of either reclassing to basically a paper pusher with a permanent profile, meaning can’t be deployed again, or Med Board. My unit got deployed to Afghan, and some of the guys that I helped train didn’t make it back. So, I couldn’t do that the rest of my career.
I wound up getting out in May of 2005 and I bounced around to about like five different states when I got out not knowing what to do. I hit the bottle pretty heavy and pretty much just drank the next couple of years away. My wife kind of made the decision for me to go back to the VA, because some fireworks were going of in the neighborhood, and fireworks do something to me. I don’t even really know what it does, but it’s kind of like I guess flashbacks. She saw what happened, and she kind of forced me to go seek mental health. They just diagnosed me with moderate-to-severe PTSD, where anxiety’s part of that, because going in large crowds, I still don’t like. I still avoid fireworks, won’t watch certain movies. Insomnia’s a big thing where before there were times, I’d be up five-six days straight with nine hours of sleep. The psychiatrist said that’s part of the hypervigilance, where just your minds going, going, and you can’t really shut off what happened out there, so you’re still kind of on edge. He helped me to learn different ways of coping with the anger, anxiety, pretty much every emotion that you have with PTSD not even really knowing what the emotion is half the time. He taught me basically don’t say or do the first thing that comes to mind, stop and think if it’s logical or not, realizing what’s going on in my head before I just act helps out a lot. A couple of the times, the wife came in, and he was giving her some things to help me out as well.
Right now, I’m in school full-time for criminal justice. I’m going through the vocational rehabilitation (now known as Veteran Readiness and Employment) program, and they’ll get you all the materials you need for school. They got me a real nice laptop to do all my projects and stuff on. They got me a printer. They’ll get me all the ink that I need while I’m in school, the paper to print up everything on. They pay the school directly, and you can also get the post 9-11 stipend with it, where you’re doing the vocation rehabilitation (now known as Veteran Readiness and Employment) program, but getting the post 9-11 pay, which is a huge bonus. I’m one semester away from my associates, and then after that, going on to my bachelors.
I still, to this day, do the one-on-one therapies. For awhile, I was going two-three times a week, but now I’m down to like one or two times a month. Actually, going to get help from a trained doctor in this, it’s not a sign of weakness. To me, it’s the same thing as using the patch to help quit smoking or anything like that. It’s a tool that’s used to help out a Veteran. Go get the help. Swallow your pride, go, there’s no shame in seeking help in anything.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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If you find yourself living with guilt or remorse about a past action or inaction, try to set aside time to think about your feelings. Remember that everyone has things they would have done differently—but no one can change the past or predict the future. Sometimes the experience is worse if you keep your feelings to yourself. Telling someone, like a family member or friend, about your regrets or guilty feelings can be a good first step to overcoming them. Learn more steps you can take on our Guilt page.
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If you are experiencing confusion, try to slow down and focus on the task at hand. Take regular breaks to avoid feeling tired and overwhelmed. Avoid drinking alcohol, which can make confusion worse. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a medical condition such as TBI might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Confusion page.
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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Flashbacks
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Video Title: Triggers | Signs of a Mental Health Challenge
Video Title: Ending the grip of nightmares and flashbacks
Video Title: A science class causes a flashback for Tim
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If I’m experiencing a flashback, what can I do about it right away?
A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Noise or Light Irritation
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If I'm experiencing noise or light irritation, what can I do about it right away?
Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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If I’m having nightmares, what can I do about it right away?
To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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High-Risk Activities
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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