Supporting and encouraging a Veteran’s recovery
Tass:
Hi, my name is Tass. I'm married to Anthony. He was a retired Veteran. We met, we had known each other for a very long time. We decided to get married actually five years ago. He was a recruiter. He did a lot of recruiting. He talks about the Marine Corps. He loves the Marine Corps.
I wasn’t around during the time that he was in the service. So, being that wife now, it can be challenging because when we want to go out to, like, public places, it just doesn’t go well with him. And I have tried and we have done it, and I notice a big change and he's kind of like stand-offish and he’s kind of watching everybody around him instead of enjoying himself.
Just being out there in a crowd of people, it’s just very leery for him and it’s very frightening.
A lot of things, I guess, that he has seen brings back old memories and dreams, because at night, when he’s more relaxed, he doesn’t realize that he’s dreaming and talking, and it’s kind of scary for me because there’s been times when he’ll jump up and it startles me, only because he’s dreaming and I don’t know what he’s dreaming about.
Well, when he started seeing the doctor for his high blood pressure, he started seeing a therapist and the therapist was very nice, and even a doctor, you know. I can go in there and talk to her and tell her different things about his ongoing condition, and we get a result. Versus, a regular doctor, I don’t get that.
I went to a couple sessions when he was going to see her. And I noticed that he opens up and he likes talking to her because she asks him questions about things that has happened to him and how it affects him. And when he comes home, it’s a whole different person.
He's more talkative. He’s more relaxed. He’s more energetic. He’s more happy. More willing to go places, doing things. He tells me everything that they talked about, things that’s going on, and he can’t wait to go and see her again.
If I was meeting a Veteran’s wife and she was telling me that her husband is not wanting or willing to do anything, all he wants to do is stay at home and be a homebody, I would tell her, “Well, sit down, make a dinner, and have a conversation, you know. ‘I understand that you don’t want to do this, but we’re going to start someplace small.’” Then after that, maybe next week, make a plan. Say, “Hey, I have a therapist I wanted you to talk to and I will go there with you, because there’s some questions I would like to ask her. You don’t have to ask any questions, but let’s start there.”
