Tass met her husband, Anthony, after his service in the Marines. Whenever they left the house, she noticed he was on edge. He would jump up and talk while sleeping. Tass recognized how important it was to support her husband during his recovery and how effective treatment can be.
View Video TranscriptTass:
Hi, my name is Tass. I'm married to Anthony. He was a retired Veteran. We met, we had known each other for a very long time. We decided to get married actually five years ago. He was a recruiter. He did a lot of recruiting. He talks about the Marine Corps. He loves the Marine Corps.
I wasn’t around during the time that he was in the service. So, being that wife now, it can be challenging because when we want to go out to, like, public places, it just doesn’t go well with him. And I have tried and we have done it, and I notice a big change and he's kind of like stand-offish and he’s kind of watching everybody around him instead of enjoying himself.
Just being out there in a crowd of people, it’s just very leery for him and it’s very frightening.
A lot of things, I guess, that he has seen brings back old memories and dreams, because at night, when he’s more relaxed, he doesn’t realize that he’s dreaming and talking, and it’s kind of scary for me because there’s been times when he’ll jump up and it startles me, only because he’s dreaming and I don’t know what he’s dreaming about.
Well, when he started seeing the doctor for his high blood pressure, he started seeing a therapist and the therapist was very nice, and even a doctor, you know. I can go in there and talk to her and tell her different things about his ongoing condition, and we get a result. Versus, a regular doctor, I don’t get that.
I went to a couple sessions when he was going to see her. And I noticed that he opens up and he likes talking to her because she asks him questions about things that has happened to him and how it affects him. And when he comes home, it’s a whole different person.
He's more talkative. He’s more relaxed. He’s more energetic. He’s more happy. More willing to go places, doing things. He tells me everything that they talked about, things that’s going on, and he can’t wait to go and see her again.
If I was meeting a Veteran’s wife and she was telling me that her husband is not wanting or willing to do anything, all he wants to do is stay at home and be a homebody, I would tell her, “Well, sit down, make a dinner, and have a conversation, you know. ‘I understand that you don’t want to do this, but we’re going to start someplace small.’” Then after that, maybe next week, make a plan. Say, “Hey, I have a therapist I wanted you to talk to and I will go there with you, because there’s some questions I would like to ask her. You don’t have to ask any questions, but let’s start there.”
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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