Heather's life was completely structured while she served in the Air Force. After leaving the military, it was very different. She and her husband had a baby and moved. It was stressful, and she felt isolated. She learned to manage her anxiety, but was reluctant to get more help at first. She urges other Veterans to find resources and get support.
View Video TranscriptHeather:
My name is Heather. I served in the Air Force and I was stationed at Lackland Air Force Base from 1994 to 1998. I went up to Washington and I auditioned and won a role as a singer in the band at Lackland so then I had to contact a recruiter and I had to go through basic training and everything just like everybody else did. We probably get a bad rap and people think “oh it is not like I really served” but so many of the things that are true for anyone else who is serving in the military are true for us. We travel a lot.
Our whole lifestyle is controlled by the military. Many of us lived on base. My job might be singing, that might not seem as important as you know standing on a front line, right. I still have to be prepared to make the sacrifices that any military member would have to make.
I left because I had a baby. I got pregnant when I was about 3 years in. She was born in March, then I separated, then my husband separated from the military and then we moved to Louisiana and I was no longer working. Our lives changed, we bought a house, everything…a lot of stresses in my life at that time.
Before I even got out of the Air Force I had started really struggling with anxiety attacks and sleeplessness and fears and was eventually diagnosed with post partum depression so I was dealing with all of that. At the time I was still able to access medical services as a family member and saw a psychologist and they’re the ones who told me that what I had was post-partum depression.
They prescribed to me initially was like a course of classes in anxiety management and I took those and I felt like they were useful tips but I ultimately felt that my anxiety was kind of overwhelming. I could use the techniques they gave me and I had a lot of skills to manage my anxiety, but it was taking up my whole day. It was taking all of my energy just to keep from having a panic attack and I couldn’t sleep. I just could not sleep at all. Then I moved away, so I took the classes and I thought they were helpful, but I really would’ve wanted to followup with the psychologist who I saw and said listen I need more help.
I moved away to a place where I didn’t really have access anymore or I thought that I didn’t have access. And I then struggled for a long time. My husband was away, because he stayed in the National Guard, so he would be gone one weekend a month and during the summer he would go on tours with the National Guard Band and wouldn’t be around. It was always worse when he wasn’t around. And that’s one of the things that I came to realize was that a lot of my anxiety was about feeling like I had to do everything by myself. That I couldn’t…that there was nobody, like that I had no support system.
When you come out it’s … like I found it a little difficult I think to relate to non-military women. Because they seemed, oh I don’t know they seemed concerned with things that seemed trivial to me. I had schooled myself and it’s funny to say this being in the band, I mean I didn’t see combat, right; but the culture of the military teaches you to be tough. There is a mental and physical toughness to my attitude that I think was shaped by being in the military that meant I wanted to muscle through my problems. I felt very isolated. If I could have connected back up with some people like that who shared some of the issues that I was facing.
I actually do think that I suffered longer then I needed to because I didn’t seek help. The 21st Century soldier, the mentally, physically tough super woman I can do anything. We need help and just talking to a psychologist, encouraging you to each out to your family. Whoever is there for you, whatever your support system is you don’t have to do it by yourself.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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