When Bryan came home from Iraq after a leg injury, physical pain wasn't the only thing he experienced. He had trouble relating with civilians, was often angry, and thought no one else could understand what he had gone through. Bryan went to VA and spoke to a professional about his challenges - the support he received helped him get back on track.
View Video TranscriptBryan:
My name is Bryan. I served in the Army for three years. I was deployed to Iraq in 2004. I joined when I was 18. I didn't know I was gonna be deployed because the unit I joined, I got to choose where I wanted to go. So, I went to Germany because I wanted to see Europe and stuff and then, you know, the Iraq War started. I wasn't ready for it. I mean the first five days that we were there, I had one of my friends get killed and it was just like, you know, reality sunk in extremely fast that this was a very, very dangerous place and we are gonna be there for a long time and you know, I made it. Miraculously, I made it through it, but I got hit in my leg. I had one bullet went in the back of my leg by my calf. They determined that I was able to return to duty because it didn't hit my bones and it wasn't serious enough. So, they actually kept me in Iraq.
When I got back home, it was, you know, things were awesome for a couple of months. You know, everyone wants to buy you drinks. Everyone wants to take you out. You’re like a little like celebrity almost. They’re so glad you’re home. You’re their hero. The family, everyone loves you. So, you ride this wave of like emotions for a few months and then, you know, after a little while, it starts to go away. And then, you’re just kind of left like, okay, what am I gonna do with my life now? And I just, I really had no clue. I felt like I had lived an entire lifetime, you know, in that year and in those three years that I was in the military that I really just didn’t want to do anything else. I just felt just mentally exhausted.
I was never really satisfied with like what I was doing. I always had to be like moving. You know, I could never just sit still because when I would just sit there alone, like I would think about all the stuff that happened. It was just anger and just frustration, you know, because people, you know, I couldn’t really tell them what had happened. I couldn’t really tell them exactly how it was because they would just never understand it. I started to have a lot of trouble sleeping. Some nights I had you know horrific nightmares; ones that were so graphic. They were so realistic that I thought that I was really there.
I started to isolate myself because all of my anger issues and just, you know, it was hard for me to really relate to people, so I would say things that were offensive to them or you know, I would just get angry and just like verbally break them down and people just stopped, they just didn’t want to hang out with me anymore. I was angry. I was just so negative. There were some points where like I just didn’t know if I even wanted to really live anymore. It was just, you know, if this is how it’s gonna be, then what the hell is the point? You know, like why did I even survive?
I was in the VA Hospital one day and I was just having a bad day, you know. I was in the hospital. I was trying to make an appointment for my leg and I just flipped. You know, I started flipping out on her and I went on this rant about everything and she just kind of waited for me to finish and, you know, when I was done. She was like, well, I’m looking at your paperwork here and you know, you were in the Infantry in Iraq. You know, you’re a Purple Heart Veteran. She’s like, you know, I think you might have some residual issues. And I was like, yeah, you know, my leg hurts that’s why I’m here. And she’s like, I don’t mean physical. And, you know, she had started to show me stuff like about PTSD. She started to show me like the informational packets and she started to tell me about it. So, having that actual like diagnosis and that direction to move in was, I think, that’s what really saved me, you know, to this day. I saw a psychiatrist. I was prescribed a sleeping medications to help, you know, even out my sleep and just every time I went, you know, I would get advice and I would get different ways and things to do to deal with how I felt at that time and, you know, in those moments. So, I would go home and I would pretty much focus everything on that, what I learned, you know, in those sessions and what I was advised to do. It gave me a better set of tools to really be able to deal with life and, you know, it gave me my confidence back. I was thinking, like more positively. I was thinking about what I could do; you know, setting goals for myself. There comes a point where you can’t do it on your own anymore. To go and get help and to realistically analyze yourself and like face that within yourself is more of a strength than it is a weakness.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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If you find yourself living with guilt or remorse about a past action or inaction, try to set aside time to think about your feelings. Remember that everyone has things they would have done differently—but no one can change the past or predict the future. Sometimes the experience is worse if you keep your feelings to yourself. Telling someone, like a family member or friend, about your regrets or guilty feelings can be a good first step to overcoming them. Learn more steps you can take on our Guilt page.
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If you are experiencing loss of interest or pleasure, try to plan a pleasurable activity daily, even if it's something small. Physical activity can improve your mood and help you sleep better. Talking to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're feeling can also be helpful. They may be able to provide support and help you discover what is causing you to lose interest in things you once enjoyed. Learn more steps you can take on our Loss of Interest or Pleasure page.
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Allowing social withdrawal or social isolation to continue unchecked will only make your situation more challenging. Consider reaching out to your family members, friends, or health care provider, even though it may be the last thing you feel like doing. Connect with Veterans' groups or participate in clubs or hobbies focused on something you like. Research shows that spending time talking with others improves your mood and has a positive effect on health. Learn more steps you can take on our Social Withdrawal and Isolation page.
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If you are experiencing eating problems, find healthy ways to manage stress, such as taking a walk, going for a run, practicing relaxation exercises like deep breathing or meditation, or doing something nice for yourself like watching a movie or reading. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Eating Problems page.
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If you are experiencing headaches, try to rest with your eyes closed and head supported. Getting enough sleep, eating regularly without skipping meals, staying hydrated, and maintaining good posture are simple lifestyle changes that can help you avoid or reduce headaches. Talk to your doctor if you experience frequent or recurring headaches, which can be a sign of a medical issue. Learn more steps you can take on our Headaches page.
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There are several ways to improve your sleep right away: (1) Make your bedroom a place just for sleeping—not for activities like watching TV, reading, working, or listening to the radio. (2) Avoid light exposure from screens at night, which can throw off your sleep cycle. (3) Avoid alcohol and large meals near bedtime. (4) Maintain a regular sleep schedule. In addition, talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Trouble Sleeping page.
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If you are experiencing confusion, try to slow down and focus on the task at hand. Take regular breaks to avoid feeling tired and overwhelmed. Avoid drinking alcohol, which can make confusion worse. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a medical condition such as TBI might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Confusion page.
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If you are experiencing difficulty concentrating, avoid distractions like loud music or the television. Develop a routine and try to stick to a regular schedule. Additionally, take regular breaks to prevent feeling tired. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a condition such as TBI, ADHD, or anxiety might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Difficulty Concentrating page.
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Dizziness
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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Flashbacks
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If I’m experiencing a flashback, what can I do about it right away?
A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Noise or Light Irritation
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If I'm experiencing noise or light irritation, what can I do about it right away?
Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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If I’m having nightmares, what can I do about it right away?
To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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High-Risk Activities
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Alcohol or Drug Misuse
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Video Title: After Challenges With Gambling and Substance Use, Veteran Finds Tools To Recover
Video Title: Anything's Possible
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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Video Title: After Challenges With Gambling and Substance Use, Veteran Finds Tools To Recover
Video Title: Brenda found the support she needed to live well
Video Title: Gambling for the adrenaline rush
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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