Recovering from burn wounds to 40 percent of his upper body was Bobby’s first challenge. The second was learning how to recognize his invisible wounds. If his wife had not driven him to the hospital that night, Bobby would not be around today to tell his story. Bobby tells his story of finding someone he could trust who was the key to saving his life.
View Video TranscriptBobby:
My name is Bobby. I'm a retired army master sergeant of 17 years. I served in the military police corps, did two tours in Iraq. I was wounded on August 21, 2006. There was a suicide truck bomb with about 200 tanks of propane. It was drove to the front gate of our entry-control point to the location and there was a suicide bomber who self-detonated it. I was severely wounded. I sustained burns to 40% of my upper body and that pretty much ended my army career. I think the hardest thing was that I was still on active duty, and it was difficult for me to grasp the fact that I was the one wounded and trying to figure out like where my purpose was in the army, in the service, and there was nobody to really answer those questions. That, you know, culminated by dealing with my family and being able to adapt, you know, to my situation as well as trying to decide what I was going to do with my future.
For my recovery, I think it was probably easier than some of the people because I had physical wounds that kind of distracted me. You know, 60% of my time was spent taking care of my physical wounds. Having the physical wounds to tell me and remind that, you know, I was injured was helpful. But also between that and, you know, daily distractions of trying to get the military to help us, as wounded soldiers to help us recover, as well as trying to figure out what I was going to do kind of took a lot out of me. That was probably the hardest part of my life, at least my entire adult life of trying to deal with, you know, the emotional impact of that on me as well as, you know, how it was affecting my family because I had two small kids.
I think that the biggest step was knowing that I needed the help. There’s all the precursors going to it like, you know, breaking down and being depressed and, you know, having emotional fits that you just can’t control, things like that, you know, and then rage and things, but the biggest thing was knowing and accepting the fact that I needed help and then being able to go get the help. If my wife hadn’t of drug me to the hospital, I probably wouldn’t have made it, because I was pretty much at the lowest the point that I probably could in my entire life. And once she brought me to the hospital, I found somebody that I could trust, you know, in the mental health field. The biggest thing was trusting the person I was talking to. I started with individual counseling and I had a great therapist from the start. When I was going through the individual therapy, my wife was kind of getting educated on what to expect, you know, what they thought to expect. So, while she was getting educated, she would educate my son and my daughter, and, you know, they had certain things that they would expect, “Ok, this is why dad’s doing this,” or, “this is why dad’s doing that,” even though I couldn’t still get the concept of the whole thing. There were certain triggers. I mean, there still are triggers now after five years that I find myself getting caught up on sometimes, you know. It gets better, but it never goes away. So, it’s one of those things you have to work at every day.
The first big thing is dealing and learning to be a civilian yourself and not a solider anymore, and then the second thing is trying to integrate into the civilian workforce. I think the biggest problem or heartache right now is that our experience and our abilities don’t relate to a resume, and civilians rely on the resume and they rely on college degrees, and some of them don’t take the time to realize that military personnel have more life experience and ability and skill then somebody, you know, maybe with a four year degree that has no workforce experience or no worldly experience. So, that’s one of the biggest hurdles is trying to explain that to people and getting the opportunity in the door. I mean, even civilians have problems trying to get their foot in the door for an interview, but for a soldier it’s 10 times harder, because if you ask a guy who’s only been in the army a couple of years how to explain what he did in the army to a civilian, you know, perspective, it’s almost impossible.
There’s a lot guys out there who speak and advocate on soldier’s behalves, whether they’re on active duty or they’re veterans. I’ve even found talking to guys from Vietnam is helpful for me and for them, regardless of how old they are, how young they are; if they’ve been to combat, they can relate to what I went through, you know, and they can relate to how I feel because they obviously have the same emotions. The most important thing probably is to just not be afraid to talk about it. You know, you’ve got to be willing if you’re going to go get the help and find the help, be willing to talk about things that make you uncomfortable. The most important thing is to admit that you have a problem that you can’t fix and to ask for help. I fired five counselors before, just because their style didn’t work, but I didn’t give up. I knew that there had to be somebody out there that could relate to me as well as help me out in my recovery, and I think the biggest thing is just once you say you want help is not to give up. You know, use the soldier mentality and don’t quit when you’re trying to, you know, get better and make yourself better, because it’s going to benefit you in the long run.
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If you find yourself living with guilt or remorse about a past action or inaction, try to set aside time to think about your feelings. Remember that everyone has things they would have done differently—but no one can change the past or predict the future. Sometimes the experience is worse if you keep your feelings to yourself. Telling someone, like a family member or friend, about your regrets or guilty feelings can be a good first step to overcoming them. Learn more steps you can take on our Guilt page.
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If you are experiencing loss of interest or pleasure, try to plan a pleasurable activity daily, even if it's something small. Physical activity can improve your mood and help you sleep better. Talking to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're feeling can also be helpful. They may be able to provide support and help you discover what is causing you to lose interest in things you once enjoyed. Learn more steps you can take on our Loss of Interest or Pleasure page.
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Allowing social withdrawal or social isolation to continue unchecked will only make your situation more challenging. Consider reaching out to your family members, friends, or health care provider, even though it may be the last thing you feel like doing. Connect with Veterans' groups or participate in clubs or hobbies focused on something you like. Research shows that spending time talking with others improves your mood and has a positive effect on health. Learn more steps you can take on our Social Withdrawal and Isolation page.
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If you are experiencing headaches, try to rest with your eyes closed and head supported. Getting enough sleep, eating regularly without skipping meals, staying hydrated, and maintaining good posture are simple lifestyle changes that can help you avoid or reduce headaches. Talk to your doctor if you experience frequent or recurring headaches, which can be a sign of a medical issue. Learn more steps you can take on our Headaches page.
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There are several ways to improve your sleep right away: (1) Make your bedroom a place just for sleeping—not for activities like watching TV, reading, working, or listening to the radio. (2) Avoid light exposure from screens at night, which can throw off your sleep cycle. (3) Avoid alcohol and large meals near bedtime. (4) Maintain a regular sleep schedule. In addition, talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Trouble Sleeping page.
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If you are experiencing confusion, try to slow down and focus on the task at hand. Take regular breaks to avoid feeling tired and overwhelmed. Avoid drinking alcohol, which can make confusion worse. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a medical condition such as TBI might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Confusion page.
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If you are experiencing difficulty concentrating, avoid distractions like loud music or the television. Develop a routine and try to stick to a regular schedule. Additionally, take regular breaks to prevent feeling tired. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a condition such as TBI, ADHD, or anxiety might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Difficulty Concentrating page.
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Dizziness
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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Flashbacks
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Video Title: A science class causes a flashback for Tim
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A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Noise or Light Irritation
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Video Title: Counseling for PTSD leads to a work-study program
Video Title: Army Veteran Encourages Others To “Be Vulnerable” in Order To Heal
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If I'm experiencing noise or light irritation, what can I do about it right away?
Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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Video Title: Nightmares | Signs of a Mental Health Challenge
Video Title: The first thing I noticed was nightmares
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If I’m having nightmares, what can I do about it right away?
To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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High-Risk Activities
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Alcohol or Drug Misuse
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Video Title: Anything's Possible
Video Title: “We’re stronger together.” Army Veteran Urges Women Veterans To Get Support
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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Video Title: Brenda found the support she needed to live well
Video Title: Gambling for the adrenaline rush
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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Video Title: “Each day was a new opportunity.” Veteran Reflects on Sobriety Journey
Video Title: I was carrying a heavy load
Video Title: Veteran strength to reach recovery
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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